Category Archives: Humor

What Happens When Your Favorite Literary Characters Post Help Wanted Ads?

One of these jobs may not make you a headliner, but you’ll be “famous-adjacent” Do you recognize the classic novels associated with these ads? WANTED: Sitter for Lunatic Wife Need position filled ASAP! No prior experience or education is required, though past dog sitting may prove helpful. Previous work as an exorcist’s assistant automatically lands anContinue reading “What Happens When Your Favorite Literary Characters Post Help Wanted Ads?”

When You Suddenly Know Your Cats Run Your Household

It really sneaks up on you If you have cats, you know they like to claim territories. Your house becomes theirs and you don’t push back because you love them. If you have children (first of all, why?), the cats take second place but if you don’t, you begin to alter your lifestyle to accommodate these finicky felines.Continue reading “When You Suddenly Know Your Cats Run Your Household”

Thanksgiving’s Revenge Is a Dish Best Served at 400 Degrees

We abused Thanksgiving long enough Originally published in Contemplate You may have seen previews or even watched the movie Thanksgiving, about a weird-looking pilgrim on a murderous rampage. That may appear more like a documentary to many Native Americans, but that’s another topic. What you’re about to read here is more frightening than a hatchet-wielding man withContinue reading “Thanksgiving’s Revenge Is a Dish Best Served at 400 Degrees”

Do You Want to Take a Trip, a Holiday, or a Vacation?

Do You Want to Take a Trip, a Holiday, or a Vacation? A trip can be almost anything. You can take a trip to the grocery store or a trip down memory lane. A holiday is a bit longer. The Brits use this term as Americans would use vacation. I always think of a holiday as a specificContinue reading “Do You Want to Take a Trip, a Holiday, or a Vacation?”

Superstitious? Not Me!

“The Interview” I interviewed Brandon Ellrich as we were eating lunch at a nearby cafe. I asked him a question regarding superstitions. Are you superstitious? “Of course not. That’s just silly.” What are you doing? “Eating my lunch.” No, I mean…with the salt. You threw it over your shoulder. “Oh, that’s just something you do.”Continue reading “Superstitious? Not Me!”

Just Look At Yourself!

Just Look At Yourself! Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years? Mostly in mirrors, I think. Perhaps the occasional window, pool, or other body of water. Mirrors are much clearer, though. I don’t consider myself a photogenic person. I look in the mirror and I think, “Eh…good enough.” Then, I’ll take a selfie and lookContinue reading “Just Look At Yourself!”

Camping With a City Girl

A Harrowing Tale of Survival Camping With a City Girl What was that? I don’t know. There’s something out there. Probably. What is it? I don’t know… A raccoon, maybe. An opossum. (*Howling*) Are those dogs? No, coyotes. Coyotes?! (*Howling continues*) It sounds like a lot of them. They can make it sound like it’sContinue reading “Camping With a City Girl”

Historical Moment

A Senryu Historical Moment Twenty twenty-fourWe’ll have the first PresidentThat’s on house arrest Copyright © 2023 Brandon Ellrich This poem was written in response to David’s W3 Prompt #50: Wea’ve Written Weekly on The Skeptic’s Kaddish, so check out his page to read other responses. The option I chose was the Senryu. Thanks for reading!Continue reading “Historical Moment”

Would You Like Chocolate or Cheese on Your Cheerios?

A Breakfast Poem A Breakfast Poem “Would you like chocolate or cheese on your Cheerios?”Asked a server in a serious voice.It seemed like a crazy question;Who would make either choice? “I’ll have milk,” I said with hesitation;My brain was a little foggy.“But put it on the side,” I added;I didn’t want them to get soggy.Continue reading “Would You Like Chocolate or Cheese on Your Cheerios?”