It really sneaks up on you
If you have cats, you know they like to claim territories. Your house becomes theirs and you don’t push back because you love them. If you have children (first of all, why?), the cats take second place but if you don’t, you begin to alter your lifestyle to accommodate these finicky felines.
If you find yourself in any of the following situations, it’s too late for you. You might as well start licking your hand and wiping it across your face. If not, there’s still time. Volunteer at your local animal shelter or visit a cat cafe, but whatever you do, don’t bring one home or you’re doomed.
If you recognize any of these scenarios, seek professional help.
The cats are in charge if…
In the kitchen, you drop a pan or make a loud noise and call out, “Sorry!” because the cats are napping.
You decide to relax in your favorite chair, but you choose a different seat because a cat is in yours and you dare not move her.
Your cats wake you up before sunrise to feed them, and you are NOT a morning person, but you do it anyway because that’s when they’ve decided it’s time to eat.
“Cat allergies” has become a dealbreaker in your dating criteria.
When someone says they feed their feline Cat Chow, you immediately become angry because you’ve thoroughly researched every brand and even though it’s not your cat, you know they deserve better.
More of your money goes to vet bills than any doctor you’ve ever seen for your own healthcare — medical, dental, and optometry, combined.
On a rare night out with friends (if you have any left), you stay out later than usual, and you worry that your cats will wonder where you are.
Your Amazon cart always has cat toys in “Saved for later,” and you already have a basket full of them at home.
You bolt upright in bed because you distinctly hear a meow of distress but after checking on everyone, you realize it was only a dream.
You spend more time deciding between two cat toys than you do when buying your own clothes.
A cookie falls to the floor, you pick it up, pluck off a cat hair, and eat the cookie anyway because you’ve given up.
Can you relate to any of these? Please say yes; otherwise, I’ve got a problem.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, click the like button, leave a comment, and follow me for more.
Edited from original post published in Catness on Medium.
If you liked this article, you may like my other cat posts.
Brandon Ellrich, Writer/Author/Poet 
😂😂😂😂
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The cats own you, no doubt.
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It’s true. 😺
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😂
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seen relatable and normal to those who cats own, Brandon. 🤭😂
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Thanks! I appreciate you reading. 😺
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My three cats all head for under the bed when other humans come over. One day, with nary a cat in sight, a friend surveyed the three tattered cat perches in the living room, numerous cardboard scratchy things strewn on the floor, multiple layers of blankets, towels and afghans covering every inch of upholstery, and the catnip mice, jingle balls and other assorted toys underfoot and said, “Boy, you look like you really, really, REALLY want a cat!”
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Hahaha. They know how to make themselves scarce!
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This was such an enjoyable read! I only have a neighborhood cat that visits but it might be too late for me because I’ve bought him toys and I let him come in and sit on the couch. He’s not even my cat 🤣
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Hahaha. Hope your neighbor doesn’t get jealous!
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Many of us can appreciate pet cats’ beneficial effect on the human psyche that most people still cannot fathom thus appreciate.
Whenever I observe anxiety in the facial expression of my aging mother, a typical senior, I can also witness how that stress suddenly drains and is replaced with joyful adoration upon her cat entering the room: “Hi, sweetheart,” she’ll say.
I know that countless other seniors with pets also experience the emotional benefits of their animals’ presence. Of course, the animals’ qualities, especially an un-humanly innocence, makes losing that pet someday such a heartbreaking experience.
Unless they were fortunate enough to be owned and cherished by a cat lover, such domesticated animals have for so long been abused and/or discarded like trash.
Ironically, this cruelty occurs while the abusers/neglecters are unaware of the real potential for, let alone the actuality of, healthy reciprocal relationships — some animal lovers would even go as far as to describe it as somewhat symbiotic — between animals (many of us see them as family members) and their loving and appreciative human hosts, especially physically and/or mentally ill hosts.
“We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.”
—German philosopher Emmanuel Kant
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