Do We Need a Reason to Socialize?

Let’s Have a Tupperware Party!

Do you recognize any of the classic gems in the photo? Does anyone remember Tupperware Parties? I must confess I have never been invited to one, but I remember my mom, her friends, and neighbors having them when I was younger. Tupperware parties were social events, mainly. Yes, you could buy Tupperware products during these parties, but was that the REAL reason they were attended? My inclination is that they were an excuse to be part of a social gathering. My question is, why do we need an excuse?

It Doesn’t Matter Who Wins or Loses

My parents would often have card parties when I was younger as well. They would play “Pitch,” which I never hear of anyone playing anymore. At the end of the night, there would be a winning team, but what did they win? Nothing. Winning was not the point, and neither, I would say, was playing the game. The whole point, the entire crux of the evening was the socialization that occured during, between and after the games. There was much talking and laughter and everyone had a good time, but no one really cared who won or lost. It was all about the human connection.

The Need for Connection

Psychologist Abraham Maslow₁ came up with a “hierarchy of needs” that he believed was the basis for all human decision-making. In the third tier of this hierarchy is the need for love and belonging. The only tiers more important, being physiological and safety needs, which shows the value he placed on this essential facet of life.

Home Interiors, Pampered Chef, Tupperware, and many other companies use the human need for connection in order to sell their products, and we use those companies to fulfill the same need. After all, does anyone really NEED an Apple Peeler/Corer/Slicer? How often would you use it? Maybe once a year, during apple picking season. The rest of the year it would be taking up space in your cabinet. Tupperware is a little different story. Who DOESN’T want Tupperware? It’s quite handy. Anyway, that’s not the point of this article.

I don’t hear of those types of parties much nowadays, which makes me a little bit sad. Most people sell the aforementioned products on Facebook or other social media and skip the human connection. Even the Girl Scouts have resorted to selling their cookies virtually.

Excuses, Excuses

Back to my question, why do we need an excuse to socialize? When a friend or neighbor tells me I should stop by sometime for a visit, I say “Sure!” but do they really mean it? Do I really intend on stopping by? I always find it awkward to go to someone’s home for no reason other than for a visit. I feel the need to have a reason. The reason could be as simple as returning a borrowed book or other item. Naturally, while I’m there, we would have extended conversations and catch up on what’s going on in one another’s lives. The conversations would have nothing to do with the reason I stopped by in the first place; nevertheless, I needed that reason to bring me there and initiate the visit. Some people may meet for coffee or go out to eat; there again, a reason is required–we both like and want coffee, we both like to eat at this restaurant.

Social Media Isn’t Very Social

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing a reason to socialize. The problem is, it seems that the reasons are being eliminated by social media, the convenience of having food delivered, and forced or chosen social distancing. I think the term “social media” is rather a misnomer. “Disconnected Media” may be a more accurate term. Just think about it…Are people socializing as much as they did twenty years ago? I don’t see it, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I just haven’t been invited to any Tupperware parties lately.

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Please take a moment to read some of my other articles like Grow Your Nose and Who is Disappointing Whom?

¹https://positivepsychology.com/abraham-maslow/