Do people often let you down? Do you create and build plans only for someone to pull the rug out from under you?
Something you might want to consider is that you are pulling the rug out yourself. I came to this realization a while ago, but still have to remind myself of it. If you are constantly let down by people, stop and think about where the disappointment is coming from. You build up a specific idea about a particular future event, and then expect a person to react a certain way–perhaps the way YOU would react. Then, when that person reacts in an unexpected manner, you become disappointed, sad, maybe angry.
Did the other person cause you to feel this way? Is it his or her fault? No. No one can make you feel a certain way. You are attributing feelings and motivations to others that they might not have.
I’ll give an example: I wanted to plan an event for my birthday. I contacted several of my friends and family to see if they wanted to go play pickleball (if you don’t know what that is, look it up — it’s a lot of fun!). Everyone said they were busy, or didn’t seem interested. I was disappointed. I thought, “My birthday comes only once a year. Couldn’t they put aside their plans for that one day?” and “If they asked me to do something to celebrate their birthdays, I would definitely go!”
I feel like I am a very loyal friend, and I would drop everything if a friend asked me for something. But not everyone has this quality, and I can’t change others to fit them within my box. I have to be aware of other people’s characteristics when developing my expectations.
So, when you’re disappointed that nobody but you shows up at your birthday party, you can blame all the people in that room!
P.S. One friend of mine ended up going with me and we had a fun time!
Brandon Ellrich, Writer/Author/Poet 
Happy birthday to a fellow September baby (or Fall/autumn baby.)
My birthday is coming up and I have no plans/expectations (especially with the current state of COVID.)
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Thank you! And a happy birthday to you as well. I hope you choose to have a good day. I have no plans either, but maybe I’ll try pickleball again this year. 🙂
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The best things happen when you have no expectations of the possible outcomes! 🙂
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Yes, many times they do. The unexpected can be quite exciting. Thanks for the comment!
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Happy Birthday!! This reminds me of a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt – “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
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Thank you for the birthday wish and the comment! Yes, that quote relates perfectly. And I look forward to reading more of your posts.
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Happy Birthday.. I get this… and sometimes we learn about who wants to come along for the ride by asking and seeing the results.. A good friend of mine used to always say “what is for you, wont go past you. ” I think that is so true.. best to keep moving forward instead of get lost in a bad feeling complaining..
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Thanks for the comments!
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Hey! I’ve actually read it already, lol. But I see the connection now. It’s so true. We can take responsibility for our happiness. And that’s actually a huge win. 🙂
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