Do people often let you down? Do you create and build plans only for someone to pull the rug out from under you?
Something you might want to consider is that you are pulling the rug out yourself. I came to this realization a while ago, but still have to remind myself of it. If you are constantly let down by people, stop and think about where the disappointment is coming from. You build up a specific idea about a particular future event, and then expect a person to react a certain way–perhaps the way YOU would react. Then, when that person reacts in an unexpected manner, you become disappointed, sad, maybe angry.
Did the other person cause you to feel this way? Is it his or her fault? No. No one can make you feel a certain way. You are attributing feelings and motivations to others that they might not have.
I’ll give an example: I wanted to plan an event for my birthday. I contacted several of my friends and family to see if they wanted to go play pickleball (if you don’t know what that is, look it up — it’s a lot of fun!). Everyone said they were busy, or didn’t seem interested. I was disappointed. I thought, “My birthday comes only once a year. Couldn’t they put aside their plans for that one day?” and “If they asked me to do something to celebrate their birthdays, I would definitely go!”
I feel like I am a very loyal friend, and I would drop everything if a friend asked me for something. But not everyone has this quality, and I can’t change others to fit them within my box. I have to be aware of other people’s characteristics when developing my expectations.
So, when you’re disappointed that nobody but you shows up at your birthday party, you can blame all the people in that room!
P.S. One friend of mine ended up going with me and we had a fun time!